TERESA DOWSON COUNSELLING

COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY IN FAREHAM, HAMPSHIRE & ONLINE

What is person – centred therapy?

What is person – centred therapy?
I had no idea when I started my training that there were different types of counselling. It was by chance that I ‘landed’ in a local training course that was BACP accredited. The course happened to be person – centred counselling and psychotherapy. It was not long before I realised this approach suited me perfectly.
Person – centred is described as ‘non – directive’ or ‘self – directive’. This essentially means the client is the boss! The therapist trusts that the client knows their lives better than we do – we are not the expert on the client’s feelings, experiences, or thoughts. The client is.

It feels like such a special way of supporting individuals who are looking for a safe and confidential space to explore whatever is going on for them.

What does this approach look like in the room?
We use active listening (really striving to understand what a person is describing), empathy, unconditional positive regard (being non – judgemental) and something called ‘congruence’. This is about being in harmony – being who I am, not pretending to be something I am not. It involves being transparent about who I am. I am part of the therapeutic relationship and am as openly and honestly myself as I can be. Even if I wanted to pretend to be something I am not – I couldn’t keep it up!

I don’t sit there with a client as a blank slate only listening and never speaking! Although silence in therapy can be a useful tool, and it is important to gauge whether someone is working through something in that ‘working silence’. It can also feel awkward for some people. I usually check!

What am I doing, then, if I’m being ‘non – directive’?                                                                                 For the therapeutic hour, I am ‘with’ the client. If something does pop up that I think could be useful I won’t hold that back but rather than as an ‘intervention’ this is offered as an invitation or a suggestion or just through ‘mulling things over’! (Like saying “I wonder if this might be useful”). Holding an idea back would not be very transparent and therefore not fit with the person – centred ethos.

Throughout the therapeutic encounter, I strive to stay alongside a client as they explore sometimes challenging feelings. And this is what makes it special. Just to be really heard, accurately seen by someone else who is not judging us – this can feel powerful.

Counselling or psychotherapy?                                                                                                                ‘Counselling’ is a term often used to describe therapy that is short – term and focussed on an immediate issue. ‘Psychotherapy’ is a term sometimes used interchangeably with counselling but could be thought of as exploring experience or feelings that are ‘entrenched’. Therapy might take longer when looking at ways of being that feel negative or harmful for a person and have been part of their world for a long time. Essentially, as a person-centred therapist; I don’t do anything differently. I still follow the client where they wish to go and stay with them as they reflect on their emotions and experience.

The feelings that have been part of us for so long can gradually change and this can often be so subtle that only when we look back, we realise a change has occurred. And that change can be seismic in terms of how we feel about ourselves and our world.

Why might someone look for counselling?                                                                                                Society appears to value positive emotions such as happiness, hope, and joy. As social beings, we all have an innate desire to ‘fit in’. And so, some emotions might feel better off being denied. Like pushing sadness down, rather than exploring what it might be about. Finding ways to ‘manage anger’, rather than asking “why do I feel so angry?” The safety of a non – judgemental therapist can afford a client the time to process whatever they are thinking and feeling without fear that they won’t be accepted, or that the counsellor might think less of them. It seems in life there are few places where this is possible. This is the power of the person – centred approach and why counselling is so helpful for so many people.

Therapeutic Relationship                                                                                                                          Essentially there are as many types of therapies as there are therapists. Because we all bring something so much more important than our modality – we bring ourselves. Regardless of which type of therapy a client might choose, successful therapy is borne out of a trusting, therapeutic relationship. Which means we might not always ‘click’ with our counsellor (as is the case in any relationship or new encounter). If you don’t feel you can trust your therapist, then it might just mean they aren’t the right counsellor for you – it doesn’t mean that therapy is not for you, or you are somehow ‘getting it wrong’.

Why counselling works!
The purpose of counselling is to find a space which feels safe to offload, to process feelings or experiences and to move closer to discovering ourselves. Finding a lost identity or reconnecting with who we are or who we were before things became difficult. Striving towards understanding why we might be feeling the way we are and discovering solutions that feel right for us. When things are difficult to talk about, it can be so reassuring to have someone to listen with patience, empathy and in a non – judgmental way.

Thank you for reading!
I am sure there is so much more to it all than I have spoken about here and perhaps it has raised more questions that it has answered! I have tried to keep this as non – technical as possible and rather address questions that I have had as a potential client of a counsellor back before my training started. If you have read this and find you would like to know more – please don’t hesitate to get in touch. We can have a chat and see if I am the right ‘fit’ for you!


©2022 Teresa Dowson

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